Sunday, March 1, 2009

March 1st - SUNDAY FUNNY
How to Give a Cat a Pill

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open & push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl & cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Once your spouses open wounds have healed repeat steps 1-9


1) Wrap it in bacon.


  1. Too funny and so true! Giving cats liquid medicine isn't any easier and results it medicine every where!

  2. Rofl, my friend just crushes it and then stirs it into their wet food. he is pretty smart for a cat man

  3. Oh, my gosh, there has to be an easier way! Can't you just hide a pill in one of those "Temptation" things that the cats jump through the wall for? Obviously, I don't have a cat....good luck with the wounds!

    LMAO!!! I am crying XD
    I wouldnt even attempt to give a kitty a pill!!!! I cant wait to share this with everyone! XOXO

  5. This sounds all too familiar...and I have the scars to prove it!

  6. I've only ever had to give my cats ear medicine; which they promptly shake out of their ears and onto whatever is around. I learned to shut my mouth pretty quickly after that. Hilarious post!

  7. Hilarious post! (and pics). It brings back memories...


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