SUNDAY FUNNY - (and oh so true)

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER...

1. Sag, You're It

2. Hide & Go Pee

3. 20 Questions (shouted into your good ear)

4. Kick the Bucket

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, Send the Doctor Right Over

6. Musical Recliners

7. Simon Says (something incoherent)

8. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE...

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN...

1. Going bra-less pulles all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse is going as long as you don't have to go along.

3. Getting lucky means the first time you look you find your car in the parking lot.
4. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

A FEW THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEKEND...

1. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr- Alt- Delete' and start all over?
2. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called 'labor!'

3. Brain cell come and brain cells go, but fat calls live forever.

PONDERISIMS...

1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes .
2. Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
3. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
4. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
5. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
6. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
7. Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'
8. If you understand less than 5 of the items in this post that's good news! the bad news is that it won't be long before you understand them all.

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY AS WE GROW OLDER REMEMBER...

A Good Friend is Like A Good Bra: Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable & Always Close To Your Heart!